does it really matter?
i'm at my father's this weekend because my grandmother is visiting from omaha. i miss my granddad. always related to him better.

melissa (step-mom figure) told me last night that she thinks i'm hanging on the edge by my fingernails. somehow she even got me to mention kyle and what's happening in that arena but since even the mentioning brought me to the verge of tears, i said very little. i said i was fine. she laughed and said i was almost fine.

my social life consists of work and bringing a book to the peacock, reading and drinking pbr until i see someone i know that i give a hoot enough about to talk to.

something that's been going through my head lately:

(It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her)

but, well, you oughta know.