I hate papayas
I'm leaving to Oaxaca Mexico for three months in less than a week. I don't know what I'm doing, I have no money and am completely unprepared in every way possible. Nonetheless it's imperative that I do this for my emotional well being. Though right now, I wonder, since the time leading up to the trip is really taking a toll on my stress levels.

Last night was a terrible night. absolutely terrible. If I managed to alienate myself from even more people, it couldn't be better timing I guess. I was rereading my most recent entries which are ages old, and saw that I mentioned my three best friends s, k, and d. Funny, it took me a few minutes to remember who the hell they were. I guess I numbed myself and now I just don't make best friends. I don't get close to people anymore. Oh, I'm still an open book, and it's easy to get to know me, but I haven't made a close connection with anyone. They always break in the most dramatic of ways. Like a power line coming down in a windstorm. I'm the fucking windstorm. Sever that connection bitch.

I'm resolved not to go out this next week and just buckle down on getting ready and packing and moving my shit and cleaning my cesspool of an apartment. My cat's going to hate me. He already does because I got rid of the bed and he has to sleep on the floor. Well, so do I cat, so do I.

Anyway, if anyone ever reads this, wish me luck. Since I don't have good sense, I'm going to need luck.

and a thousand bucks.

love.